Tuesday, September 26, 2006

It's Y'all, You All

During the 2nd quarter of MNF, the cameras panned the sidelines showing many of the signs and banners expressing New Orleans fans’ gratitude for the re-opening of the Super Dome. The NFL provided much of the $185 million to renovate and repair the facility.

One sign demonstrated the need for schools to re-open as well:

Thanks to the NFL
Thanks to ESPN
Thanks Ya’ll

Any good redneck knows that it’s spelled y’all, not ya’ll.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Some advice for the Pope

You can't open a dialogue with a group that isn't interested in the concept of dialogue.

I'm the first guy to take a shot at those of my faith that expound extremism; you don't have to look to far in my archives to see that.

This is a serious question posed to all my Islamic pals: Why is it that you take such offense at the extreme words of others, yet won't denounce the extreme actions of those who supposedly practice your peace-loving faith?

Swords and bombs can hurt my bones, but words can never hurt me.

Before you swear to kill all Christians, just remember, there are more of us than you, and our traditional practice of picking and choosing our beliefs allow us to ignore "Thou shall not kill" long enough to take care of business.

We're trying hard not to 'judge' your religious beliefs. However, if you get any more annoying, you will feel the wrath of our Old Testament roots. We'll feel bad about it later.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I'm not a Fetish Guy, but

I'm one of those sappy guys who thinks a prenatal glow is attractive on a woman. I'm not bothered by the extra pounds or the swollen abdomen.

Don't send me links to those websites, either.

Note to K-Fed

Hey, dude, how about wearing a condom? How many kids do you need, anyway?

And Brit....you swallow the birth control pills, you don't insert them.

Monday, September 11, 2006

September 11, 2006

I imagine that many here in the blogosphere are sitting down today, trying to compose some sort of meaningful message looking back on how our world has changed in the last 5 years.

I don't think you'll find that here.

I'm the guy who remarked as the second tower crumbled to the ground, "Looks like the John Hancock building just moved up two spots in the 'Worlds Tallest Building' category."

What else could be said?

Hindsight is 20/20.

At that moment, we had no idea who was behind the attacks and we had no idea when planes would stop crashing. My home is 30 miles due east of a large nuclear plant. I was trying to coordinate an "escape plan" with my wife just in case we had to snatch my daughter out of school and head north (or south) to a safer place. I was trying to track down a good friend of mine who worked near the WTC; and the husband of another good friend was stuck in the Pentagon and I was trying to hold her hand long distance as she waited for terrible news (Thankfully, everyone was safe).

I cope by being a smart-ass. That's why you are here.

I'm also known for being an optimistic realist.

I marvel at how the buildings were evacuated so that only a fraction of the intended victims were killed that day. Over 300 NY Firefighters died during the evacuation. Many others are now facing a terrible pulmonary illnesses as the price for their heroism.

I think of the passengers of United 93.

Our country has become very divided in the last 3 years, and this is sad. When you think about what it means to be an American, we should remember United 93. That is what being an American is all about. That is the spirit that our enemies hate in us.

I think it is right that we are divided. That sounds odd, yet it is uniquely American that we are able to argue both sides of an issue. We all want the same thing: Peace. The question we face is how do we want to achieve it and what is the price we are willing to pay.

The people on United 93 knew what it was going to cost. A split-second decision was required, and there was no looking back.

Our initial response to 9-11 was good. But then, politics got in the way.

Lets remember the passengers on United 93. Lets remember the courage and sense of duty of the FDNY. Their valor doesn't mean we need to stay in Iraq. It just means we need to focus on what exactly it is we want, and then move forward. Changing goals and objectives just gets in the way.

Maybe it's time to isolate. Maybe it's time to let someone else shoulder the load. We know that we are a powerful nation. There's no need to to prove it to anyone else. We know it.

Blah blah blah.

Friday, September 01, 2006

Snakes on a Plane, Trains and Automobiles

I had an 8 a.m. jobsite meeting at St Bernard Hospital on the southside today. With road construction, there is no feasible way to go from my home to this location in a manner to arrive at 8:00. If I left at 5:00, I would arrive by 7:00. If I left at 6:00. I'd get there around 9:30.

So I did the 'smart' thing...I took the CTA from Cumberland (2 stops from O'Hare), transferred downtown and got off at 63rd Street, and made it to the hospital by 8:10. St Bernard is located at 64th and Yale, and serves the Englewood Neighborhood. Although I was woefully out of place in this area (based on my skin color), I was comfortable and confident. I get along with everyone.

The meeting went well, and I got on a northbound L train around 9:00. I sat in front of a man and woman who were discussing various things. The man saw the movie "Snakes on a Plane" yesterday.

Woman: How was that movie?

Man: It was (cool).

Woman: What about all those snakes?

Man: I had no idea there would be so many snakes. I knew the movie was called "Snakes on a Plane", but I didn't know there were going to be lots of snakes on that airplane. It was (very) cool.

I have no desire to see "Snakes on a Plane". I don't think 2 hours of watching snakes scare the shit out of people is entertaining. I know that a lot of people have seen it, and they agree that it is (very) cool.

But how can you live in America and not know what this movie was about? It's called "Snakes on a Plane" for gosh sakes!

How is it that I'm plugged into Pop Culture more than that guy? I mean, he was (very) cool!