Thursday, April 26, 2007

Behold the Power of Flyover!

Naming Rosie O'Donnell "AssHat of the Week" a mere 24 hours before the announcement of her leaving "The View" is no accident.

Well, okay, it was an accident.

I couldn't locate a tasteful photo of Cho (and we are all better for that, I think), and I didn't have time to put a lot of thought into my nomination, so I just went with Rosie.

There was a time when I really liked Rosie O'Donnell. Sadly, those times are over. She reminds me of blog-goddess frog (who I admire) in that she constantly shouts for tolerance when it comes to accepting her lifestyle and politics, but woe be unto those who disagree with her. Tolerance is a 2-way street, and I tend to equate tolerance with respect.

Still, I think that ABC Daytime, as well as the flyover region, had had enough of Ms. O'Donnell's antics.

Think about it. We had embraced her as a lesbian, we accepted her as a parent, and we even accepted her liking Tom Cruise. Still, she wanted more. She wanted us to allow her the final word on all important matters, and we just said 'no'.

As the 'face of lesbian-ity' (along with Ellen DeGeneres), I thought she would help our culture understand, like, and even enjoy homosexuals. "See, Shirley, that Rosie is a good egg. Who cares if she doesn't like the guys?"

The problem started with her militancy. It's not that we don't like Militant Lesbians, we just don't like anything militant. Militant Theocracy, Militant Conservatives, Militant Liberals, Militant Environmentalists, Militant Gun-Toters and Militant Anti-Gun-Toters.

Perhaps 'regular' America is just too busy keeping on keeping on to be militant about anything, and so we are creeped out by anyone who is militant about anything.

I'll always have a place in my heart for you Rosie. It's a shame you can't be more like Ellen. We like her. She's the friendly lesbian from down the street. The one that lives with the other nice lady and doesn't check out my wife's cute ass while she's carrying in the groceries.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Heroes are everywhere, you just need to look

About six or seven years ago, our company hired a high-schooler named Jenna to do some office-services related stuff in our office. Her dad works here as a design engineer and is a really nice guy.

Jenna's family could be described as fundamentalist christian. While not proselytizers, they make it clear which side of the fence they stand on. Be that as it may, Jenna was a fairly typical 17 year old girl: nice but snotty, hipper than the rest of us. In addition to delivering mail and answering the phone, she also helped Laura in our office with the permit drawings for kitchen fire systems, and that is how I came to know her.

After 9/11, she made it clear that she would forego college and join the Army. And she did. Her parents were interviewed in a local newspaper about her choice to join the service, and while they expressed the usual parental fears, they also stated that as christians, they believed that the Lord ultimately chooses the time of everyone's passing, and if their daughter was killed in action, it was the Lord's will, and they would be content with His will.

Now, you might think I chuckle at that sentiment, but after a lot of reflection, that may be the best way to cope with the fear of losing one's child. There is only so much we can control. Whether it be on a college campus in rural Virginia, or the streets of Baghdad, you just never know when it's going to be your turn.

Jenna is stationed out of Ft Drum, 2nd Combat Team, 10th Mountain. She also jumps out of planes. She has a good chance of earning her Sergeant's strips this summer. She's also returning for her third tour in Iraq.

Jenna is home on leave, and she stopped by to visit us on her way to an elementary school, where she was going to speak at a school assembly. There is no doubt that she's a lean, mean, killing machine; but as she was leaving today, she said that she was looking forward to playing with the kids before she spoke today.

I took a picture of her with Laura. I told her to keep her head down and to take care of herself. Afterall, you never know when the Lord calls your number.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Political Correctness 33, Common Sense 0

Looking back on my college 'career' over 20 years ago, I can remember a few of those wacky guys, the loners that refused to interact, ate by themselves in the dining hall, would avert their eyes when you passed them in the hallway, etc. It would have been tempting to bust their doors down and give them swirlies, but we were too drunk and/or stoned to care that much.

We had the good sense to stay away from these guys, but I certainly made a point of knowing where they were, because you just never knew....

Cho Seung-Hui was a certified psycho. He had the proper documentation and everything. Why, after four years at Va Tech, was he in the general population? One reason was because he was 'protected', and I don't mean because he was Korean. I mean because he was identified as 'over-sensitive' and 'troubled'. Let's treat the psycho with kid gloves so he doesn't sue us for discrimination.

Let's be clear here: Psycho wack jobs should be discriminated against. They need to be removed from the general population and proteced from themselves.

After today, I am no longer going to partake in the media banquet of this story. I've seen the video, I read the plays, I've looked at the photos. More than anything, Cho Seung-Hui needed two things, he needed to get his ass kicked once in a while, and he needed to get laid. His so-called 'manifesto' railed against the elite, the rich, the normal. He was completely unable to relate to other humans on any level. His basic approach to women was creepy (text-stalking?--get a set of balls, will you?) Guys who are creepy don't get the girls.

Alienated? Sure, I understand. I've been there. Really. And while it was cool to fantasize about beating my tormentors with a piece of lumber, I never thought it would be a good idea to make these fantasies come true. Sure, I hope Joe Fijak dies a terrible death for bullying me when I was 8 years old (he was 12), and there's any number of guys from my high school who I'm thrilled are 60 pounds overweight and balding. I am human.

Cho was sick. Cho was nuts. I understand that. He should have not been on that campus.

Cho will be the next AssHat of the week. I've never had the time or the patience to try to understand the kids 'who just couldn't fit in'. Sorry you couldn't fit in, Cho. Sorry you were delusional. I'm even more sorry that even though the authorities knew you were nuts, they were afraid to do anything about it.

Let's change the subject now, shall we?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tuesday Morning Quarterbacking

The news coverage of the Virginia Tech tragedy was awful. Short on facts, long on became the worst of sports-talk radio.

I'll be avoiding the coverage today as I see that it has become 'What If?' programming.

The shootings happened in real time. This was not a pre-scripted '24'-ish drama. Second-guessing the decisions made or not made will become a cottage industry, and all the media outlets will have attorneys, so-called experts, and other pundits offering half-baked opinions full of speculation and rehash.

And if I want speculation and rehash, I'll tune into sports-talk, because that is where it is done best.

Someday when I open my diner, I'll have Speculated Eggs and re-hash on the menu.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Hello, I Mus' be Going

Don Imus is our AssHat of the Week. Not because my feelings were hurt by what he said. And not because I don't think he has the right to say what he said.

It was just a stupid thing to say. It wasn't clever. It wasn't enlightening. It wasn't even true.

I do think there has been an OVERreaction on the part of the media, and a smaller overreaction on the part of the offended parties.

The reaction implies that the opinions of Don Imus have some import to our culture. They do not.

Long ago, I tried to watch his show on MSNBC, and did not think it was funny or entertaining. I found Imus and his cast of characters to be self-important boobs, who enjoyed laughing at some inside joke...the inside joke being 'can you believe we're making money doing THIS?"

I don't think of women, basketball players or not, as whores. Yes, there is a rather small yet vocal minority that characterizes women as whores. They are morons. They have a problem. When a 65-year old white man who earns $8-10 million a year characterizes women as whores, he has a problem, too.

It's called unemployment.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

No Good Deed

I'll have some details later, but despite suffering a mechanical crisis in Lebanon, MO, we made it back home on Saturday evening.

Not only am I way behind at work, but I'm still suffering from post travel fatigue.

Not to mention I'm trying to wrap up my dad's housing situation....not getting much sleep because of that.