Thursday, November 30, 2006

She Loves you

Am I the only guy that thinks that all Courtney Love needs is the love and support of a stable man?

I want to think that she is really smart/pretty/desirable, but I'm afraid of the psycho factor.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Curse of July 29

My wife and I were married on July 29, 1989. There was no real significance to selecting that date, we just looked at the calendar and decided that July 29 would be the day.

Prince Charles and Lady Diana were married on a July 29.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married on a July 29.

Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson were married on a July 29.

With the exception of Brad Pitt, the rest of those grooms (including me) were pretty dorky looking. All the brides are famously gorgeous (including my wife).

As the last July 29 couple standing, we'd just like to say "Thanks" to all our fans.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Oh to be single again

Just got the news that Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are splitsville. More on that later.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

When Ignorance is bliss...

...tis folly to be wise.

This week, six Muslim imams were taken off a flight from Minneapolis after a number of them were witnessed to have participated in their usual evening prayers.

(Remind me to pray the rosary the next time I'm waiting for a flight).

The knuckleheads who allowed this to happen should be either disciplined or fired. This is America, darn it, and Muslims are allowed to prayer as they see fit.

I'm really sorry that this happened. It points to ignorance and intolerance, two things that I wish I knew more about, but don't want to bother to learn. (The last sentence was a joke).

But here's where I take issue with the imams:

From the Chicago Tribune:

MINNEAPOLIS -- Six Muslim clerics removed from a US Airways flight said Tuesday they were victims of discrimination and called for a boycott of the airline.

The imams were removed from the flight to Phoenix on Monday night after three of them said their normal evening prayers in the terminal in Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport before boarding, said Omar Shahin, president of the North American Imams Federation. They were among the 150 imams who attended a federation meeting in Minneapolis.

"The police came and take us off the plane in front of all the passengers in a very [humiliating] way," said Shahin. "I never felt bad in my life like yesterday. It was the worst moment in my life when I see six imams, six leaders in this community, humiliated."

Yes, Mr. Shahin, you were discriminated against. Yes, Mr. Shahin, you were humiliated. As I wrote above, the people responsible for this should be in big trouble.

Where I have a problem with you, Mr Shahin, is where you state "I never felt bad in my life like yesterday. It was the worst moment in my life when I see six imams, six leaders in this community, humiliated."

I can think of a worse day for you Mr Shahin. How about September 11, 2001, when 19 of your fellow Muslims killed over 3500 innocent people in the name of your religion? Were you humiliated by their actions? Did you feel bad? Probably not, because TO THIS VERY DAY your organization has done NOTHING to condemn or prevent continued violence against Israel or the US because of the intolerance your faith has of our culture.

You were wronged, and that angers me. But don't whine about that the worst moment of your life. Islam and Western Culture seem to be similar in that it's always "me, me, me!"

Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Cat's out of the bag...

I've always had a weird intellectual crush on her.

I dislike her politics, I loathe her husband, and she's not exactly babe-ilicious.

I like smart women. I like women with a sense of humor. I like women who like football.

You have to admit she's pretty darn smart, and must have a sense of humor (considering who she's married to). If she was wearing a Bears sweatshirt, I'd leave my family.

If you want babe-ilicious, here you go:

I don't know if she's smart, and if she gave me the time of day, I'd call that a sense of humor.

I'd give up football for her. College football, anyway.

T-t-t-talkin' 'bout Draft Registration*

As much as I've lost faith in the current administration, I haven't gone completely lefty.

Back in 2004, one of the Democratic drumbeats was that the Republicans would reinstate the draft to shore up weakening Reserve and Active Duty numbers. This was viewed as a scare tactic (and believe me, as a Republican, I know a scare tactic when I see one) by the left to attract not only young voters, but also the parent of young voters and solidify the anti-war vote.
As we all now (even the Democrats), this was empty campaign rhetoric. Not even we Republicans thought reinstating the draft would be a good idea. If President Bush would have campaigned to reinstate the draft, I would have voted for Nader (sorry, never Kerry...we all know why, right?).

Yesterday, Representative Charles B Rangel (Dem-NY) reiterated his desire to reinstate the draft, if even for the 'back into it' logic that it would lead public sentiment against the war.

How effin' dumb do you think we are, anyway?


Speaking of young voters, the two precincts that serve the Northern Illinois University campus (in the heart of Flyover IL) had approximately 11 percent registered voter turnout. This is laughable if only because these kids are the first ones to skip class to to attend a peace rally, especially if it involves a keg.

Don't get me wrong, I skipped a lot of classes and drank a LOT of beer. But I voted.

*When I was a senior in high school, registration for Selective Service started back up (thanks, Jimmy Carter) and I penned a little ditty sung to the tune of "My Generation" by The Who. This was before I became a Who fan. Through a small loophole in the law, I wasn't actually required to register, but I did anyway, because all my friends had to and it was only fair that I joined them in Iran to free the hostages.

Which reminds me, if we had only paved Iran back in 1979-80 like we should have, we wouldn't be mired in this shit now.

No, really, I prefer peace to war. Sadly, life is a lot like hockey, and sometimes you just have to drop the gloves.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Judgement Day?

According to a headline at, we're counting down to Judgement Day.

While that may be true (every day draws us closer, sadly) I was surprised that ESPN would be reporting on it. I'm not afraid of the rapture, but I was hoping I'd get the chance to learn the mandolin before the end of the world.

Fortunately, ESPN was talking about the Michigan vs. Ohio State game. Whew!!

When I was 11, that game was played to a 10-10 tie, which also created a tie for the Big 10 championship and Ohio State was magically awarded the right to play in the Rose Bowl. I was living in Indiana at the time and while I didn't have bragging rights for either team, I always liked Michigan better than Ohio State. I thought wolverines were cooler than buckeyes, or something like that.

So tomorrow, the two teams face each other again, both undefeated, in what will be a wonderful college football game. As much as I love the NFL, I love college football more.

Judgement Day comes at different times for those of different faiths. For many, it is tomorrow. For me, it's next Friday, when my beloved Aggies take on the Longhorns. At least we have a shot this year. My pathologic devotion to Texas A&M may be discussed later.

2:43 PM Out of respect for Chris over at Dangerous Logic (a much better blog than this one will ever be), I am not going to make any comments about it being judgement day for Bo. In spite of his ill-fated turn with the Detroit Tigers, I always thought that Bo Schembechler was a hell of a leader, and in the team photo of great football coaches. Woody Hayes is not in that photo.

Coach Schembechler is not really gone, he just got better seats for the game tomorrow.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Where's the turkey?

It's a good thing we're not hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year.

I don't know if it is because it falls early this year or what, but I am not in the holiday mood. Oh sure, I have lots to be thankful for. But the holiday is just not in the air yet.

We've been so darn busy (a product of our own design, sadly) that it's hard to catch one's breath and see what's going on. Work, city council, choir, Lions Club. My wife has work, various church councils that she watches over, bible study, library work, ladies' nights, bunco. She gave notice last night to the librarian, and the librarian asked if she could find her own replacement. It's not like my wife is an employee, she is an independent contractor doing the finances.

Anyway, something has to give. I'm not sure what needs to go. I can trim back my choir practice commitment and just show up on Sunday mornings. I don't want to quit the Lions, although I've scaled back on my involvement to the point that I go to every other meeting and don't take part in most of the projects. I'm sticking with City Council, although if I lose re-election next Spring, I won't shed any tears.

I barely have enough to time to sit around and be lazy. How I long for those days!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

If it can get any worse...

I don't know what kind of people enlist in today's Armed Forces.

I do know, however, that if 4 Iraqi soldiers raped and killed a 14 year old American girl and killed her family to cover up the crime, Americans would go ape-shit if even one of them got a reduced sentence for pleading guilty.

Specialist James P Barker pleaded guilty today and will testify against his co-rapist buddies in order to avoid the death penalty. Brave soul, James. Asshole.

I support our troops. I don't support rapists. I especially don't support child rapists. All four of these guys deserve to swing from a rope. There is absolutely no such thing as a mitigating circumstance in this issue. They planned it, they executed it, and they tried to cover it up.
How is it that we keep on being the bad guys here?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Chin(s) up, Britney

I'm here for you, girl.

It was about time you dumped that gold-diggin SOB, and I hope your pre-nup screws him but good.

Now, take my advice: Lay low for awhile. Don't rush to get involved with another guy. You've got two kids to take care of, and they are your priority.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Vote the Rock

I got to our local polling place at 6am and performed my duty (as we all should).

Voting in 2006 is like changing a dirty diaper. It is not a joyous experience, but it has to be done.

I took my ballot into the booth, flipped a coin, said a prayer, held my nose, and voted for the evil of two lessers.

For the statewide offices, I voted for as many Democrats as Republicans. I am NON-PARTISAN MAN!!

I was tempted to go the 3rd party route for governor, you know, as a 'protest vote'. And the winner of the race would look at all the 'protest votes' and say "Gosh, I better get my act together and behave and do what the voters are telling me because look at how many don't like the process".

Sure they do. And monkeys fly out of my ass.

Which reminds of a strange dream I had the other night.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Florida bound

The kids have a 4 1/2 day weekend starting at noon today, so we're off to Florida to take advantage of small crowds at Disneyworld. I need to leave the office in 45 minutes so I can get home to load the car and get some lunch into the kids before we leave. So instead of working, I'm taking time to do a quick blog...just in case there's some sort of calamity and this turns out to be my last entry!

The best thing about being out of town this weekend is that I won't have to sit through all of the terrible political ads that are beseiging us. If I have to see Gov Blogo's bad haircut one more time, I'll claw my eyes out. Likewise Judy Baar-Topinka's dyed helmet of hair.

Just a quick note for Rod...raiding the state pension fund to the tune of $3 billion does not 'balance the budget'. Cute wife, though, I'll give you that. Like the rest of us, you married up.

Tomorrow is my 44th birthday (no need to send along wishes), and I'm looking forward to spending it with Mickey Mouse. For whatever reason, I seem to enjoy the Disney experience, even that special machine that shakes the last dime out of my pockets as I leave.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Foot in mouth...

I actually understood where John Kerry was trying to go with his "joke". And, had he delivered the "joke" properly, it would have been a very effective cheap shot.

As King of the Cheap Shots, I know a good one when I hear one.

I can't defend President Bush's terrible performances when it comes to speaking off the cuff. The man just can't do it.

John Kerry should know this: Standup Comics spend hours practicing jokes before actually delivering them. Keep your day job...or don't.