Monday, March 01, 2004

Here's a little glimpse inside: I sent the following to everyone in my address book:

I'd like to take a moment to let everyone know that despite what you saw on TV this week, the people of Chicago are not overweight, obnoxious rubes who perform pagan rituals in order to improve the performance of various sports teams. If that worked, we would have a decent hockey tema in Chicago...believe me, I've tried everything.

Those of you who have lived in or visited this wonderful city can attest that Chicago presents may opportunities for cultural enrichment, as well as a great climate from June 15 to November 1 each year. While Deep Dish Pizza and Italian Beef Sandwiches are fantastic, people from Chicago also enjoy steak, ribs and other wonderful cuisines. Many of us are in decent physical shape, and although there is a lot more smoking here than I would like, we look and behave a lot like people in the rest of the country, including New Freakin' York City...where, if you believe what you see on HBO, is home to a lot of self-absorbed slutty women. (I, of course. can differentiate between real life and what happens on HBO...namely, there are more naked women on HBO than in my real life.)

Nowhere else in our fair country can someone take a $113,000 investment and turn it into several million dollars of media exposure.

I have great sympathy for my Houston friends who were victimized similarly in the media during the Superbowl fortnight. Based on the media coverage, I was surprised to learn that cattle freely roam the streets in Houston, posing a threat to exotic boots and truck tires.

This is an open invitation to visit my home in "rural" Illinois (just 60 miles from the Loop). I will be happy to take you to Harry Caray's for a cold Budweiser, and you can view the remnants of this media circus. Of course, I'll be having a Crown and Water.

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